3 Reasons You Feel Lost (and how to fix it)

By Barbara @ Follow Your Own Rhythm

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Most people go through life operating solely on autopilot, going through the motions, and living within the constructs of society.

Operating out of unconscious programming based on how we’ve been socially programmed to think and behave, most people live their lives attached to an identity that isn’t even them, all the while feeling deep loneliness and emptiness within.

Most people live their WHOLE lives without ever questioning

What is true happiness?

Who am I really?

Is there more to life than I can see?

Why do I believe what I believe? And where do my beliefs come from?

What is stopping me from living a truly fulfilling life?

These are some of the most fundamental questions, yet most people are concerned with what car to buy, where to go for dinner, who won the football game, and what their favorite celebrities are doing.    

This is at no fault of their own, as I said, this type of “dumbed down thinking” is a byproduct of very deliberate social brainwashing taking place in our society.  It’s a way to keep everyone under control.  I’m not a conspiracy theorist, this is just how it is.

This conditioning and programming starts happening at an early age and comes from mainstream media, advertising, TV programs, our school system, religion, family/parenting, and culture as a whole. It’s everywhere you go and it’s everywhere you look.


Most people believe that fulfillment and success is an external thing, based on how much money they make, how good they look, how respectable their job is, how new their car is, how big their house is, how many things they own, and how many friends they have. 

It’s completely outwardly based.  

Therefore, most people feel completely, totally, and utterly lost in life because they are trying to find themselves in all the wrong ways, things, and places.

It’s truly a hallelujah moment when someone wakes up, even if it’s just a tiny bit, and realizes that SOMETHING IS WRONG…SOMETHING IS MISSING…and THERE’S MORE TO LIFE.

It is usually at this point that they discover that they are actually quite lost.  

They have no direction in life, don’t know who they are, don’t know what they want, and their life has no meaning or purpose.  

They may struggle with addictions, bad habits, emotional outbursts, confusion, stress, anxiety, low self-worth, and even depression.

Realizing that you’re lost is a BEAUTIFUL moment in life despite how it may feel and seem right now.

It’s beautiful because it’s an invitation towards the truth and an opening towards something deeper.

If you are feeling lost, which I’m assuming you are since you’re reading this post, today I will share with you the number one, primary, main, and fundamental reason for feeling lost, confused, purposeless, and directionless.

I will also share with you two other reasons that could be a contributor, as well as tips on how to overcome these limitations so that you can have the clarity, direction, and purpose you’re seeking.

3 Reasons Why You Feel Lost

1. Disconnection from your true self

Without a doubt, the number one, core, primary and fundamental reason for feeling lost is that you’re disconnected from your true, authentic and spiritual self, and identified with the ego, or false self.

When we are disconnected from our essential truth, our spiritual nature, our Higher Self, and the Higher Truth, we inevitably feel lost and confused. 

This is because our soul, spirit, or deeper truth is being ignored and we are living true to an illusion… the illusion that we are just physical bodies separate from everything and everyone. 

We are living with the FALSE belief that who we are is defined by what we have, what we do, how we look, and what the world thinks of us.  We are completely unaware of the powerful beings that we actually are.


Of course when we live disconnected from our true selves, a host of problems emerge in our lives. 

We struggle with finding our passion or life purpose, maintaining healthy relationships, up-keeping a healthy lifestyle, finding inner peace, finding happiness, and we get triggered by everything, we are scared to make changes, we care too much about what other people think of us, we battle with addictions, and we experience anxiety on a regular basis. 

A disconnection from our true selves manifests as every single problem that you can think of or see in the world today.  The reason that people suffer, the reason that people are violent, the reason that people hate, the reason that people are selfish is ALL BECAUSE they are disconnected from their divine nature and are identified with a separate self.

However, once you wake up to the truth of who you are, all of these problems dissolve one by one, and you find the peace, clarity, and purpose you’ve always been looking for.

Therefore, the solution to connecting with your true self is to COMMIT to serving your truth and not the ego.  Commit to a path of personal growth, self-discovery and “soul finding.”

Commit to learning about the ego and identifying the inauthentic and programmed patterns within yourself.

Commit to opening your mind and questioning your beliefs, and then changing your perspective based on the new insights you gain.

Commit to self-discovery and facing your inner demons, commit to connecting with your soul such as through meditation, and commit to being 100% honest with yourself.

If you would like support on this journey of reconnecting with your true self, I offer an in-depth self-discovery program called “Step Into Your Truth.”  We go deep into who you are as well as the false self, we identity your programming, limiting beliefs, and inauthentic tendencies, we release the blocks that are holding you back, we uncover your true beliefs, and you learn how to express yourself authentically.  This truly is the ultimate course for finding and being your true self. Check it out here!

2. Lack of clarity on what you want in life

Another major reason for feeling lost in life is simply because you lack clarity on what you want.  You’re out of touch with your desires.  This could be because you’re disconnected from your essential truth therefore you struggle with knowing what you want.  To fix this problem, go back to number 1 and focus on connecting with yourself. 

However, you could also experience lack of clarity simply because you haven’t actually sat down to think about what it is that you truly want.

Maybe you haven’t prioritized your own needs. Maybe you feel that you don’t deserve to get what you want.  Maybe you think it’s selfish.  Or maybe you haven’t given yourself permission to dream big and envision a life where you’re happy and free.  Maybe you think it’s foolish to think this way. 

Or maybe you’re scared to think outside of the box, step out of the constructs of society, and go after what you really want.  Maybe pressure from your family, friends, environment, religion, culture or society is making you play small.

The truth is, you’re never going to get “unlost” until you get clarity on what you want, who you want to be, and what kind of life you want to live.


So the solution to this is to actually sit down and think about your life and what you truly, genuinely desire.  We aren’t talking about ego desires, but rather wants and needs you have that will fulfill you on a soul level. 

Find a quiet space, sit down, close your eyes, and imagine your life in 5 years.  While you’re imagining your future self, put all limitations and fears aside.  Imagine that there are no limits and think as free and as big as possible.  

Consider the following questions: Where do you want to be? What do you want your life to look like? What kind of a person do you want to be? How do you want to feel? Who do you want to be with? What kind of job do you want to have?  What habits do you want to have? What does your ideal day look like?

Then, take out a piece of paper and reflect on these questions: What are my goals? What are my dreams? What do I want to accomplish? What hobbies do I want to explore? What passions do I want to pursue? What limitations/fears do I want to overcome? What isn’t working in my life? What needs to change? What is something that will fulfill me and give my life purpose?

If you don’t know the answer to some of these questions, it’s okay, don’t stress. The answers will come to you now that you’ve opened yourself up to FINDING answers. 


For more questions like these to help you get to know yourself and your desires, check out my 100 question workbook with guidance sections in between: “My Sacred Space for Self-Discovery.”

Some additional tips to help with clarity of mind is refraining from drinking alcohol as that tends to dull our minds and give us brain fog, refraining from mind numbing drugs, avoiding junk/fake foods, chemically enhanced foods, and overall unhealthy foods as that also gives us brain fog, and try to incorporate regular exercise, getting sunshine, time in nature, and some sort of mindfulness practice into your everyday routine.

3. You’ve unconsciously been following the same routines, doing the same thing over and over again for way too long

When our lives are mundane, repetitive, dull, and filled with the same ole boring and stale routines, we become STUCK.  We become stagnant. 

When we do the same thing over and over again, following the same routine, living in the same place, seeing the same people, doing the same activities, working the same job, visiting the same places, having the same beliefs, watching the same TV shows, having the same types of conversations, etc., we start to lose ourselves in those patterns and routines.

And then, when we become so attached to those routines, we forget to LIVE.  We forget to be spontaneous.  We forget to enjoy, embrace, and explore life.  We become afraid of trying new things.  We forget how to be adventurous.  We forget about our passions.  We forget to laugh.  We forget to get excited. 

And when we forget about living life, we become disconnected from our true selves.


The solution to this is simple.  You need a change.  You need to change up your life. 

What parts of your life have become stagnant? In what area do you feel stuck? Where is there no movement? Where is there no excitement? Where are you craving more adventure, fun, and freedom?

Step out of your comfort zone and try something new!

Explore new ideas, meet new people, visit new places, get a new job, move to a new state or country, take a vacation, change up your morning routine, take a different route to work, change up your wardrobe or hairstyle, change your diet, hire a life coach, learn a new subject, pick up a new hobby!

The point is to make a change in some way to get you out of the repetitive cycle you’ve fallen into.  It’s so easy to go YEARS doing the same thing to then one day realize that you haven’t even lived. 

Once you start getting out of your comfort zone, letting go of outdated habits and routines, changing it up and trying new things, your perspective on life will change dramatically, and you will discover yourself one new experience at a time.

So just to recap, if you feel lost right now, there are 3 things you should focus on:

  1. Connect with your authentic self.  Commit to personal growth.  Discover who you are on a deeper, more spiritual level.

    Here are some helpful articles/resources for your journey:

    “30 thought provoking questions to help you become more self-aware”

    “15 things that do not define who you are”

    “100 self-reflective questions for deep self-discovery” (workbook)

    “4 keys to personal growth and transformation: Part 1-Self-honesty”

    “5 major limiting beliefs that are holding you back and how to overcome them”

    “10 essential tips for personal growth”

  2. Get clarity on what you want in life.  Spend some time with yourself and ponder who you want to be, what you want to do, and how you want to live your life.

    Here are some helpful articles/resources for your journey:

    “10 tips for pursuing and staying committed to your dreams”

    “4 steps to creating a limitless life” (workbook)

    “9 questions to ask yourself to help you find your passion”

  3. Change up your routine and make some changes! Try new things and experience life from a different perspective.  This will give you so much clarity!

    Here are some helpful articles for your journey:

    “What does it mean to enjoy life? + guide on how to do it”

    “Getting out of your comfort zone and 3 ways to make it easier”

    “What is the point of your life?”

    “Adopt a ‘why can’t I?’ attitude for a more limitless life”

    “How to have an open mind”

I hope that this article served you and that you’ve gained some clarity about what to do next. 

I’d love it if you shared your thoughts in the comments below!

If you are serious about finding yourself, discovering your life purpose, and living an authentic, happy, and fulfilling life, I’d love to support you on your journey!

Check out my online course “Step Into Your Truth” for more details!

If you’re not ready to go that deep yet but still want to connect to your true self, then check out my 4-day free email course “Reconnect With Yourself!”

You will receive a lesson with tips and a powerful exercise each day for 4 days to help you reconnect, feel more calm and peaceful, tap into your intuition, self-reflect, and overall feel better about yourself! And it’s totally free!

Thank you so much for reading and if you enjoyed this article, please SHARE it with others!