By Barbara @ Follow Your Own Rhythm
Self-honesty is a HUGE part of personal growth and really a gateway to becoming your best self. You can’t really get far without being honest with yourself, because if you lie, then you’re just prolonging an illusion.
I’ve always been a pretty honest person, with myself and others, and I would say it is what has catapulted my growth. I have always self-reflected and tried to get to the root of any problem to see how it’s holding me back or affecting my life, and see what I can learn from it.
What does it mean to be honest with yourself?
In my experience, it means to admit to yourself how you truly feel, why you do what you do, when you’re wrong or have made a mistake, when you’re acting foolish or selfish, what your true desires and motivations are, how certain people or situations make you feel, any weaknesses you might have, or anything to do with seeing beyond the mask you wear in your day to day life.
Now self-honesty doesn’t necessarily require that you open up to other people about these things, but it does mean that you at least admit them to yourself.
So to help you become more honest with yourself and to strengthen those muscles, I created 25 questions that you can ask yourself to begin the process.
The first 10 questions are designed to be asked or reflected on when you are in the midst of a conversation, situation, or feeling a certain emotion come up. So these are more “in the moment” type of questions that will ensure that you are being honest with yourself and should ALWAYS live at the forefront of your awareness.
The second set of 15 questions are more for reflecting on yourself and your life as a whole in order to get to know yourself on a more honest and real level and to prompt further self-discovery.
Get the FREE worksheet of these 25 questions so you can start answering them right now!
25 QUESTIONS TO ENCOURAGE SELF-HONESTY
"In the moment" questions to ask yourself (as a situation is happening or as an emotion is arising):
1. How am I feeling right now? Why do I feel this way? How do I feel about that person, situation, conversation, perspective, etc.?
2. Am I truly listening to what this person is saying right now? Am I in tune? Am I paying attention?
3. Am I overreacting? Am I letting my emotions take over me? Am I loosing control?
4. Am I in the present moment or am I lost in my head?
5. Is this the best way to deal with this situation?
6. Am I being true to myself?
7. Is she/he right? Do they have a point?
8. Why did I do that? What is the true reason for the way I’m behaving?
9. What am I motivated by right now?
10. Am I just coming up with excuses and justifications for doing or not doing “this thing” when I should really just own up to why I’m TRULY doing or not doing it, even if my reason isn’t so favorable?
Overall reflections about yourself and your life to encourage self-honesty:
1. How do I feel about my past and what has happened to me? Is there anything that still haunts me that I should let go of?
2. How do I feel about my family? My friends? My life? My job?
3. Do I forgive easily? Do I hold grudges? Is it hard for me to let go of painful feelings and experiences?
4. Do I have any serious addictions that should be looked into?
5. What are some of my negative tendencies or unhealthy (behavioral or thinking) patterns and habits?
6. Am I satisfied with who I am as a person? What parts about myself do I want to improve or change?
7. In what ways do I unintentionally hurt people?
8. Am I patient? Appreciative? Positive? Kind? Compassionate? Accepting? If not, why so?
9. Do I admit when someone is right even if that makes me wrong?
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10. Do I make decisions that ensure that I don’t look stupid or stand out? What do I base my decisions on?
11. What is the real reason that I don’t do that thing that I feel deep down I should do?
12. What are some of my biggest fears?
13. Do I seek validation and approval from others when doing certain things?
14. Even when I lie to people about my feelings, do I admit to myself how I truly feel? Even if it means having to see something I don’t want to see in myself?
15. Am I open to facing my inner demons, seeing my dark side, and feeling the pain of my emotions in order to work on them, release them, and grow as a person?
These are just some starter questions you can ask yourself to get your thoughts rolling in the right direction. When answering these questions, I would obviously focus on being completely honest with yourself, and also on giving each question a thorough thought to truly uncover your stance on it.
Personal growth is impossible without self-honesty, so at one point or another, you’re going to have to see those parts about yourself that you don’t necessarily want to see, but the more open you are to ALL parts of yourself, the easier it will be to deal with them, and the faster you will be able to let the negative stuff go.
All in all, self-honesty is the most beautiful gift you can give to yourself.
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