How to stop caring about what people think of you - the secret to more confidence

By Barbara @ Follow Your Own Rhythm

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Lack of self-confidence stems from a deep rooted belief that we aren't good enough the way we are. 

Our beliefs about our self-worth may have been influenced by a past experience, how we were raised, or how we have been conditioned and programmed by our external world. 

In either case though, our current confidence level is determined by this deeper belief system that we have about ourselves. 

The truth is, it's quite difficult to remain unaffected by the influences of the outside world when we live in such a spiritually unconscious society.  People judge, criticize, compare, and exercise their ego quite often, therefore it's pretty easy to fall into a separate-self mindset.  

This separate-self mindset is what creates our lack of self-confidence in the first place. 

When we view the world and everyone in it as separate, we are more inclined to judge and reject.  However, when we view the world and everything in it as connected and ONE, we are more inclined to practice compassion and understanding. 

When we lack confidence, one of the biggest things we fear is what other people think of us.  We have a hard time letting loose and being ourselves because we fear their judgment, criticism, and opinion.  We fear that they won't like us, accept us, or approve of us.  

Well here's a secret.  While this might be hard to immediately implement, it will be your saving grace in building true confidence.

The only reason we care about what other people think of us is because one, we are giving them the power to define who we are ... probably because we don't fully know and understand ourselves...

and two, because we are too identified with our false sense of self, the ego, and therefore when people judge us, it directly affects our ego, not our truth, and since we BELIEVE we're our ego, it feels like a part of ourselves has been destroyed.  This leaves us feeling insecure.   

When we detach from this false sense of self and awaken to our true nature, uncover our true potential, and connect with our higher selves, we can see the world from a much higher perspective.  We can see the truth of who we are, and the truth of who we are not. 

When you tap into this deep wisdom, you free yourself from the pressure to be perfect and you simply just start being you. 


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This is exactly what my online program, Step Into Your Truth, guides you through. 

If you're interested in learning more about the ego and how to detach from this separate-self mindset, and if you want to connect with your true self so you can fully know who you are and live in freedom and confidence, then check out the course here!


Building confidence is an inside job and it's not about relying on praise, recognition and compliments from others in order to feel better about yourself.  It's also not about looking beautiful on the outside or being popular and liked. 

The foundation of true and lasting confidence is deeply and internally rooted. 

When you feel good about yourself on the inside, you will be magnetic, vibrant, and radiant on the outside, no matter your life situation, physical appearance, traits and skills, or status in society.

So I will leave you with these 4 key insights from this post: 

1. Focus on loving and accepting yourself from within. 

Check out this post on how to accept yourself.  An exercise you can do to reconnect with your inner beauty is to name 10 qualities about yourself that you love and are proud of, name 5 things you're really good at, and name 3 ways in which you have been of service to others or the world in some way. 

2. Detach from your separate-self mindset.  

When you are identified with your false self, you become vulnerable to people's opinions about you.  When you become vulnerable to people's opinions about you, you become obsessed with being perfect and being everything others want you to be.  This creates a disconnection from your true self which can lead to stress, anxiety, isolation, and even sickness and depression. 

3. Focus on getting in touch with who you truly are!

A great way to not let other people define you is by getting super familiar with who you are.  When you know yourself more than other people know you, they're opinions don't hold much weight anymore.   My course is a great resource for getting to know yourself!

4. Start to look at the world, yourself, and other people from a more understanding, loving, and compassionate perspective! 

When you see that everyone is struggling with their own limitations, and that they judge because they themselves are hurting inside, you can have so much more compassion for people, and also not care as much about what they think of you. 

Check out my blog on "How to let go of your fear of being judged" for more insight on why people judge!


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