Before we get into the fear stuff, let me just say that I love asking questions.
You know why?
Because the right questions can help you find the right answers.
Because all answers are within.
The right questions can help trigger a truth within you that you’ve never before been aware of.
Questions can help you go within, self-reflect, get to know yourself, and identify your deeper beliefs, values, passions, dreams, pains, fears, tendencies, and motivations.
Questions are transformative and can open your mind, make you think about life from a different angle, help you become a free thinker, and give you guidance.
Questions are amazing which is exactly why I love sharing these types of resources with you!
They are a great tool for your personal and spiritual growth journey!
I’ve already written a blog post on 30 thought-provoking questions to help you become more self-aware which is by far my most popular blog post.
I also created a workbook with 100 self-reflective questions to help you find yourself in “My Sacred Space for Self-Discovery.” This is my most popular product!
In today’s post, I wanted to talk specifically about fear, and HOW to identify it using the power of questions.
Fear is a highly debilitating energy and can truly keep us from living our fullest potential.
So what is fear?
Fear is an emotion or feeling that we feel based on the belief that we are in danger. Some fear is healthy such as the fear that comes from seeing a rattle snake, as this fear will prompt you to not go near it. This is rational fear. This is your survival instincts kicking in.
However, there are other types of fear that simply put, are completely irrational and don’t really serve a purpose.
Some irrational fears include having a fear of ants, authority figures, speaking in public, or flying on an airplane.
None of these fears are rational; they are merely based in some sort of programming, false belief system, or a past traumatic experience.
Some fears aren’t as obvious as the fear of snakes or airplanes though. Some fears are more subtle and harder to detect such as the fear of failure, rejection, or loneliness. These are fears that you have to dig a little bit deeper to uncover.
However, whether our fears are subtle or obvious, most of them are irrational and we experience them on a REGULAR basis. So if you have some crazy fears, please don’t be ashamed of yourself and know that we all have them. Some of us are just better than others at hiding it.
Why do we experience fear?
Babies are born with only 2 fears: loud noises and falling.
They are not afraid of the dark, they’re not afraid of snakes, they’re not afraid of flying, they’re not afraid of looking stupid, and they’re not afraid of failure. Babies are as free as it gets.
However, as we grow older, we get exposed to our environment, we start to build awareness of the world around us, we absorb all sorts of information, we start to have certain life experiences, we start to develop certain biases about the world around us, and we start to develop fears.
These fears can come from getting chased by a dog, getting abused, or being made fun of for how we look.
They can also come to us more indirectly such as from our parents’ fears that they have projected onto us such as through unconscious parenting, or from our social environment such as through social programming.
But at the root of it all, our fears are based in ego (identification with a false self) and a disconnection from our true, spiritual nature.
The more disconnected we are, the more we fear and the more anxiety we experience on a daily basis. The more we surrender and the more we connect with our Higher selves, the more our fears dissolve.
Obviously the deeper and more ingrained the fear, the harder it will be to overcome it. But I do believe it’s possible.
How do we overcome fear?
I used to have a pretty extreme fear of dogs due to a childhood experience. After doing some spiritual growth work, I no longer (irrationally) fear dogs. The fear is gone.
However, I do have pretty strong irrational fears in some other areas of my life, which is not so easy to dissolve and will take a bit more work to overcome.
However, I will say this. The most helpful thing in overcoming your fears is to become aware of them. Identify them. See them for what they are.
Because many of our fears are subtle, we go through life without ever giving them a second thought, and we let them rule our lives. These unacknowledged fears can cause a lot of emotional damage, so the main point is to become aware of them.
By becoming aware of your fears, you’re bringing them to the light. When they’re in the light, they’re no longer in the dark and they’re not as scary anymore.
Bringing them to the surface allows you to interpret them from an adult’s mind and from a higher perspective to see how illogical and irrational the fear is. A lot of times, this conscious perspective of the fear is all you need to eradicate it.
Other times, however, the fear is more deeply programmed and you need to do more work. You need to go deeper into the fear and find out its source and then tackle it from that angle.
Sometimes it helps to hire a professional to help you process the pain, and sometimes all you need is to actually DO what scares you most so you can get comfortable and skilled at doing it.
Scared of rejection? Put yourself in a position to get rejected. Get comfortable with the feelings it creates and process them as you go.
Scared of the ocean? Get out there and get comfortable with being in the ocean.
Scared of dancing in public? Take a class, get good, and start practicing in public.
Doing what you’re most scared of doing, and then doing it over and over again, will not only help you become more comfortable with it, but you will gain the skills, experience, and confidence to deal with it effectively.
If you need help getting out of your comfort zone, check out my blog post on 3 tips that will make it easier to get your comfort zone!
But before you can do any of that, you need to first IDENTIFY what your actual fears are. You need to bring them to the light.
So to help with that, here are 15 insightful questions that you can ask yourself.
Keep in mind that these questions are going to trigger your fears, make you go deep, and make you feel uncomfortable. That’s the whole point….to bring these uncomfortable feelings to the surface and to not be afraid of them. The more you keep them in the dark, the scarier they will be.
Also keep in mind that a lot of times when we feel frustrated, impatient, anxious, angry, or jealous, it’s usually FEAR at the root. Fear expresses itself as all sorts of negative emotions so don’t dismiss these feelings too easily.
For example, let’s say that you hate being in traffic and it makes you feel really impatient and frustrated. You might not think that this is based in some sort of a fear, but if you dig deeper, you may be able to discover that your sense of impatience comes from the fear of being late to work and getting fired. Then you can explore further where that fear comes from.
If you’d like to start answering these questions right away, I made it into a free downloadable worksheet!
15 Questions to Identify Your Fears
What do you absolutely HATE doing and how does it make you feel?
Do you hate it because it triggers a deeper fear within you? What fear?
What causes you anxiety? What triggers your anxiety or what makes you nervous and uneasy?
What are some of your biggest, most obvious fears?
What deeper fear is this obvious fear based in?
Can you think back to a childhood event that created this fear?
Is there something in your life that you really want to do, or a certain passion or dream you have, but aren’t doing because you’re scared? What is it and what are you scared of?
Have you avoided certain jobs, people, places, situations, conversations or experiences out of a fear of something?What was it and what was the fear?
Is there a deeper fear it’s based in?
What types of topics make you uncomfortable to talk about? Why? Is it based in a fear?
Are you currently in an unhappy, unhealthy, or dysfunctional relationship that you are scared of getting out of? Why? What are you scared of? (fear of being alone, not finding someone else, being hurt, not being loved)
Whatever your fear is, can you go deeper and see if it’s based in a deeper fear?
Are you currently in a job that you’re scared to leave? Why? What is the fear?
What deeper fear is it based in?
Do you fear the truth? Are you afraid of hearing the truth? Why?
How do you feel around authority figures? Scared, nervous, shy, uncomfortable, etc.
What deeper fear is this based in?
Are you afraid of what other people think of you? What about it scares you most?
Does uncertainty and “not knowing” scare you or make you feel uncomfortable? What about it scares you?
How do you feel about change? Does it scare you? What about it scares you?
Are you comfortable with being vulnerable? If no, why not? Can you pinpoint a deeper fear?
Do you enjoy being alone? If no, why not and what deeper fear is it based in?
Based on your answers to these questions, name your deepest fears.
For each of your fears, try to see if it’s realistic. Does this fear make sense? Is it rational? Is it logical? Is it factual? Is it true?
Or is the fear just a crazy idea in your head?
It’s only our conditioned minds and patterns that tell us that there is something to be afraid of when things are perfectly safe.
After all, F.E.A.R. does stand for “false evidence appearing real,” so if you can learn to override your conditioned mind, fear will no longer control you.
Obviously this is a lifelong process, but you can start the process by becoming aware of your fears!
And if you’re ready to overcome your fears, check out this article from Kaitlyn Moorhead with specific steps on how to work through your fears.
I hope this article served you and I wish you the best on your journey!
What is YOUR biggest fear? Leave it in the comments below to prove that we’re all in this together!
Thank you for reading and please share this article if you thought it was helpful!